Hello Everyone! I hope that you are all doing good and that you enjoyed your weekends!
Since moving back to Edmonton, it has become important to me to make connections, meet new people and purposefully do things outside of my comfort zone and because of that, I have had some really great experiences. For the last year I have been on a journey of self acceptance, practising gratitude and really taking the time to figure out the types of qualities I am looking for in others (romantically and in friendships as well). I have met a lot of new people and the majority have been wonderful..apart from a few horrific first (and only) dates, I can say that I have made some great connections. I think that you can draw something positive and learn something from everyone you meet whether they are in your life long term or just for a little while and I thought that today I would share some of the lessons I have learned throughout my journey with you!
I am the type of person that is always looking for a connection with other people, I have learned that it does not always happen and that it's okay not to connect with everyone. This is something I have found quite common in dating over the last year and while having a connection with someone that you are interested in is obviously super important, even if there has not been a romantic connection with a certain person I do feel like I have taken something positive from that experience. I have had some great conversations and have gotten to hear different perspectives on life and out of that have made some good friends along the way. I think that it is important to have these experiences whether or not you make a long term connection because it helps you decide the type of people you want in your life and gives clarity to what you are looking for in someone.
I have spoken about quality time on my personal Instagram and how important it has become in my life over the last few years. Something that I have had to learn along with that is if someone wants to spend time with you, they will make time for you. To clarify, people are naturally busy and have things to do which come up from time to time and that is different. I have quite a few friendships where I do not see them for months at a time but when we do spend time together, it is like no time has passed and those friendships are some of my dearest, most supportive and loving. However, there is a line between being busy and not actually wanting to spend time with that person. If someone wants to spend their time with you, they will. I have also learned to be grateful for the time the people in your life do choose to spend with you and really appreciate that time. I have grown a lot since learning this lesson and have learned not to waste my time, also to accept, be grateful and move on if you cannot meet in the middle and I have become a happier and more relaxed person because of it!
I was not sure when I started this post, that it would get so personal but I do think this is important to mention without going into too much detail. I have mentioned that I have had a lot of personal growth this year and this has definitely been a big portion of that. It is so important to have an open and honest dialogue with whomever you are intimate with about what you are into, boundaries and deal breakers and not to be nervous or shy about talking about it. Being able to talk about things openly has given me more confidence not only in dating but in general as well. It can definitely be a touchy subject (ha) especially if you are just getting to know someone but I do think that it is a super important conversation to have and makes navigating much easier!
Now just to clarify this, I definitely do not mean people who are hugely different in morals, values or lifestyles however having people in my life that think differently than me and can question me on specific things helps me personally understand certain things better. I am a very creative thinker and wear my heart on my sleeve when it comes to how I react in situations and I have found that having people around that can manifest my creative ideas into something tangible and think logically is something that I am so grateful for. I also find that being able to have conversations with people who think differently than you can make you see things in a different light or in a way you might not have thought of before which can also be super helpful. I have lots of friends that don't necessarily follow my exact lifestyle but the important thing for me is that there is also a level of respect, support and understanding on both sides and there is no judgement either. I am very lucky to have amazing people in my life who I can bounce ideas off of and who challenge me when I need it.
When my last serious relationship ended, I told myself that going forward I was going to be 100% honest with myself and others about who I am and that I will not repress myself in any way for someone else. I think that it can be easy to do when you are in a relationship and it happens often especially when you care for someone deeply, but it is not healthy. Change is an important part of growing and practising self love/care but you should never feel like you have to change for someone to get their validation or approval. If someone does not like you because of the person that you are, that is on them and there are so many more people out there that will appreciate you for you. This year I have opened myself up to more people than I have in a long time and made lots of new friends just by being authentically me.
I decided that with this blog post, I wanted to get your input and so I asked on my Instagram for the most important lessons you have learned from others and I wanted to share the responses you gave as well.
I appreciate everyone who gave an answer, I love hearing other people's input and getting to know ya'll a bit better!
When I think back on this last year, I am grateful for how much I have grown and a lot of that has to do with the people I have met, the experiences I have had and the lessons I have learned. It is important to always challenge yourself, do things outside of your comfort zone and embrace change that will benefit you in the long run and to not be afraid to take time out for yourself to get to where you want to be.
If you have gotten this far, thank you for reading! It is definitely the most personal I have gotten in a long time but I personally enjoy hearing about the lessons that other people have learned and if they resonate, applying them to my own life which I hope I was able to do with this post. Let me know in the comments below an important lesson you have learned from someone else!